Wednesday, September 29, 2010

First Assignment..

                I have to say ‘walking’ into my online class for the first time was very interesting.  I started to read the other students replies to the initial post we were to have made called appropriately 'Post Your Intro' --  they had written one paragraph, about 3 or 4 sentences long.  I had written about 5 paragraphs, much longer answering four out of the seven questions posed. I got worried again, surprise!  I mean what if I am over thinking these assignments?  In the back of my mind I'm thinking 'yes, I am over thinking.'  As a matter of fact that sentence I just wrote shows the over thinking, doesn't it?  How many times can I use it in a sentence?  And now I'm even sick of the word: over thinking (and I used to like that word before.  Maybe, it's because the word seems long, like the word is over thinking the word).  Nevermind...that thought went far, far away.

                It has come down to these; I am writing this blog to clear my mind a bit.  A lot is going on in my head. I am planning out my week for school and I am panicking.  What if my assignments are not to be done the way?  Am I doing them correctly?  After all, I have been given a lot of paperwork (online) to figure out what the assignments are and 'how to' do them, but a lot is still left up to me.  I love independency, but not when I'm getting graded.  I want to know what my instructor is thinking when she grades the assignments.  Is it too much to ask?  Let me tell you, I am thinking, she might just not want to read mine.  Especially when she sees the length, but as the song goes "hey, I'm a writer" (Sunset Boulevard, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Broadway).   I figure, in the end one grade on an assignment can't just remove everything I have ever learned.  I am falling into my habit of being hard on myself.  I need to 'cease and desist' this behavior and replace it with a more positive outlook.  For instance, I could not be going back to school.   

                   Whew!  Much better.  Now about the next assignment.  We were asked to talk about how we learn and give an example and what our weakness in learning is and give an example.  All right, I'm ready --- five paragraphs later, the assignment is done.  If only I wasn't terrified still of going into the classroom and realizing everyone wrote one paragraph per section.  By the way (just to let you in why I have anxiety), I made the mistake of reading the breakdown of how the posts are graded.  Excellent, Good, Fair, etc.  no pressure though.  Guess that I haven't quite figured out how to balance my anxiety with learning yet.  I feel like maybe as an addendum to my assignment I should put in this blog today.  Then again, bad idea since the post would be many more paragraphs than I already have.  By the way, does anyone know if it's grammatically correct to use 'already' or 'all ready'.  That one frustrates me.  I think I'll look it up.   I can say I thought I knew grammar pretty well (don't even know if that is correct, 'pretty well' sounds slang) but now that I have read the material on comma usage, sentence structure, etc from this class I'm not so certain anymore.  I will say this: I love spell checker !  Best invention since sliced bread.

                  I have one final question:  Did you ever think you would read this much from anyone?  Thanks for listening to me out there in 'internet land'.  I have to say with all the material that is available I should take a test for anxiety -- no, wait, then I will be anxious again.

                 Oh, almost forgot to add:  Carolyn, who is my enrollment advisor at the college did say that I could include her and the links to the college in my blog.  So, if you are thinking about doing online courses (don't use my anxiety-driven nightmare thoughts as a deterrent, believe me I'm over thinking) you can contact her directly at:  

                         No I am not a person from the college trying to get people to enroll.  Promise.  I am really taking courses there.  I just thought I would provide some info in case anyone needed it.  However, if you are one of those people who sees conspiracy in everything and this just proves it again I have to say:  you are cool ...seriously, if you can see that, enlighten me! I try to find conspiracy and just end up finding out people aren't that interesting or creative.  Conspiracy is what this country seems  built on most of the time, and that means you have the 'pulse' of the nation.  Great job!  (and I mean that).  However, if you can stop for a moment and remember that if I was from the university I would not have made myself so anxiety driven and a wreck at times.  The idea is to 'put your best foot forward' right?  Now I have to think about which is my best foot.

                 I guess it would be - the foot of my brain,  wherever that is?  I could ask my friend who teaches Brain and Behavior.  He would know.  Off to work some more on my next assignment/post about learning.  One thing I have learned from writing this blog that my thoughts are constant and the box to write this blog into keeps exiting and returning with the wrong formatting.  Computers are frustrating when they don't cooperate.  Such anti-authoritarian machines!  Next blog will be written in Word and transferred to this little box.  Word doesn't have such an attitude.  

             Until next time...




1 comment:

  1. you sound like Alice in wonderland. she tended to over compensate and that got her into trouble in wonderland. Remember your goal and why you are doing this. Hopefully that will keep you from getting to anxious.
    (I used spell check on this. I agree best thing since sliced bread!)